So I go talk to the Rev tomorrow about baptism and things. I can’t even think about it ahhhh too many feelings
my self is breaking apart. I walk around in a daze & don’t know what to eat or why. food is strange & I cut my hair off with old scissors and no mirror while absently watching TV. I need to talk to a professional about things that have happened to me. I need to keep moving forward with the good things in my life that make once stagnant waters move again. But as the waters clear I can see the dead bodies below. They come to the surface and look into me
"Among the mystics of the Christian tradition, this journey metaphor crops up again and again, in a variety of ways- not only in the idea of traveling long distances, but in even more humble imagery like running a race, climbing a ladder, or exploring a castle….while Irish poet and spiritual author John O’Donohue played the contrarian and insisted: "If there were a spiritual journey, it would be only a quarter inch long"! He went on to tip his hat to Emerson, noting that "the eternal is at home- within you."…..Emerson and O’Donohue are right, of course: this journey is in large measure an inner trek, a quest to find the mysteries at the heart of the universe, paradoxically nestled within the heart of your own soul."
- Carl McColman, Answering the Contemplative Call